Article author: Julia D. clinical psychologist and psychotherapist with more than 20 years of practice.
Why We Are Hearing More and More About Emotions and Why They Matter
Not so long ago, showing emotions was seen as something that got in the way, or even something inappropriate: emotions were supposed to be controlled, pushed down, or simply ignored. And if you dared to show them, it was often seen as bad manners and judged. Rational thinking was considered the main tool: “think the right way, act the right way, and you will get the result.”
In today’s world, the focus has shifted quite a lot. Emotions have become something we discuss, study, and pay attention to — and there are reasons for that. It reflects the knowledge we have accumulated about how our psyche and physiology work, and about how a person responds to the outside world and makes decisions.
There Is Always an Emotion Between a Thought and an Action
In classical logic, behavior looks linear: first a thought appears, and then an action follows. In real life, this scheme never works so directly. There is always an emotion between the two.
It is our emotions that determine:
⁃ whether a person moves toward contact or steps back
⁃ whether they say something or stay silent
⁃ whether they take a risk or choose the safer option
The point is that an emotion is not a “side effect.” It is a signal, an indicator, and at the same time the energy that moves us toward action. It answers two key questions: what is happening to me right now, and what should I do with it?
When a person does not recognize their emotions, they lose access to these answers. A state appears that many people describe as a kind of “fog”:
there is tension, discomfort, a sense that something is wrong, but what exactly is happening and what to do about it is unclear. In this state, two extremes usually switch on: either impulsive reactions, or freezing and avoidance.
That is why working with emotions is not about simply “talking about feelings.” It is about learning how to navigate your own life. When an emotion is noticed and named, it stops controlling behavior from the inside. It becomes information about you and your life, a signal that something important is going on.
For example:
⁃ irritation may point to overload or crossed boundaries
⁃ anxiety may point to uncertainty and a lack of support
⁃ resentment may point to unspoken expectations
⁃ sadness points to loss
At this point, there is finally some space to understand that something is happening in my life, and that it is worth paying attention to.
Why Reflection Is Necessary
Understanding emotions does not happen automatically. It requires a separate skill: reflection. Reflection is the ability to stop and ask yourself several clear questions:
⁃ what am I feeling right now?
⁃ what situation triggered this?
⁃ what might this emotion be telling me?
⁃ what is this emotion signaling, and what action would make sense?
Without these steps, the emotion remains just a reaction and continues to influence behavior, often not in the most effective way.
This is exactly why the topic of emotions has become so relevant today.
Many tools in your life — goals, plans, discipline — may not work if there is no inner attunement.
And emotions are a key part of this delicate adjustment in life.
In my many years of working with clients, I can clearly see how a person’s relationship with emotions changes when there is more understanding and a systematic approach. Emotions begin to be seen as an important signal, a clue in life experiences and conflicts.
One tool that can help develop reflection is the regular recording of emotional states and experiences.
At first, it looks simple:
- “irritation”
- “fatigue”
- “anxiety”
But after a short time, a structure begins to appear:
- repeating emotions in the same situations
- a connection between emotions and certain people or forms of interaction
- an understanding of which states lead to ineffective actions
For example:
- a person notices that before important conversations, anxiety appears again and again — and they avoid contact
- or that irritation at the end of the day is not really connected to other people, but to overload
For this kind of regular work, I can recommend the app Sphera. It is an emotion journal and emotion tracker created not as a mood tracker for simply marking a “good” or “bad” mood, but as a tool that helps a person gradually learn to recognize their emotional states more accurately, notice the situations in which they appear, and understand their reactions to them.
In independent work with emotions, one of the main difficulties is consistency. You can reflect deeply once, understand a lot about yourself, but if you do not return to it regularly, the skill does not take root. Emotional awareness is not built through one sudden insight, but through repetition: noticing the state, naming it, linking it to a situation, seeing your reaction, and gradually beginning to notice patterns. Developing emotional awareness can be compared to fitness: without putting in the work, there will be no result.
Sphera helps make this work more regular: it reminds you to pause and observe your current state, record your emotions, and gradually build the habit of self-observation. This makes it easier to begin: the person does not have to figure out from scratch every time where to start reflecting; the app already gives the process a structure.
What matters to me here is that the app does not offer ready-made diagnoses or universal advice. It is more about helping a person build the habit of observing themselves: what am I feeling, how strong is it, what may have triggered it, how do I usually react? This is exactly the foundation from which reflection begins.
Sphera uses an approach based on 6 basic emotions. For beginners, this is especially helpful, because at the start of self-work, complex emotional states often feel blurry: “I feel bad,” “I’m overwhelmed,” “I don’t understand what is happening to me.” When a person starts with a simpler and clearer system of basic emotions, it becomes easier to orient themselves: is this more about anger, fear, sadness, disgust, surprise, or joy? And from there, it becomes possible to gradually move toward a deeper understanding of one’s feelings, needs, and reactions.
When there is language for describing an emotion, there is also a possibility to do something with it.
After these observations, something in life can already begin to change. Sometimes independent work in an app can “save” several months of work with a psychologist, because the app helps organize the data and build awareness as a habit.
The next step is already a change in behavior. Based on the results of your reflection, there is space for experiments. For example, preparing in advance for difficult situations, changing the format of interaction, forming the habit of pausing instead of reacting automatically, helping to build boundaries, and so on.
And the most important change is that the feeling of chaos disappears. A person begins to see the logic of their own reactions. And at that moment, emotions stop being perceived as a problem. They become a system of guidance.
Julia D. is a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist with more than 20 years of practice, a teacher and supervisor in the method of Positive Psychotherapy, WAPP Master Trainer, holder of the European Certificate of Psychotherapy, and an active member of WAPP.