“I don’t understand what I’m feeling. How do I manage or control my emotions?”
This is one of the most frequent requests that people made to ChatGPT in 2025.
According to The Washington Post (2023), around 10% of ChatGPT queries involve people discussing their emotions, fears, or trying to make sense of their feelings.
It means that people are becoming more aware of their emotions and feelings, but they seem overwhelmed and lost in the emotional flood, looking for direction and answers.
We all use the word “emotions” every day, but still, very few of us truly understand their purpose — not as abstract words describing our state, but as built-in biological survival tools that shape our relationships, views, and every decision we make.
Everything starts with emotion
Emotions shaped us long before language, culture, or nationalities. They evolved through time as a system of survival signals: run and hide to survive, fight to defend yourself, connect with others to solve problems or seek help and support. Our ancestors didn’t have much time to analyze life events and their consequences; their emotional system had been developed over hundreds of thousands of years as reflexes with the primary goal of surviving.
The 6 Basic Emotions
In the 20th century, psychologist Paul Ekman, a professor at the University of California, San Francisco (UCSF), introduced the theory of six universal basic emotions: Anger, Fear, Sadness, Disgust, Surprise, and Enjoyment.
These emotions are universal to all people across the world and help us form more complex emotional states as feelings and moods. The structured and simplified approach of this concept enables people to break down their complex emotional states into manageable steps, allowing them to work through their emotions step by step and reach deeper and more complicated emotional states.
1. Anger
Anger emerges when someone or something crosses our personal borders. When our boundaries or values are violated or threatened, we want to protect them, and to do so, we need more energy. That’s why, with anger, we experience a significant energy release, which helps us fight and protect. Without anger, we would never stand up for ourselves, stop unfair treatment, or change unacceptable situations. Many of us view this emotion as a “negative” one, which we need to suppress, but it’s actually the most powerful emotion that gives us a great deal of energy to change things and move forward; the only question is how to apply it.
2. Fear
Fear is an emotional response to a perceived threat, danger, or harm. It’s like an overprotective family member or friend who always wants to warn you and keep you safe. Whenever they see something unfamiliar or risky, they immediately alarm you, sometimes even when there’s no real danger.
From a cultural point of view, Fear is often seen as a negative emotion because one needs to be brave and strong, but actually, we should thank it because it has helped us survive for thousands of years. Those who hadn’t feared were brave but soon died. So when you experience fear, you shouldn’t fight or shame it; pause and observe — your inner self gives you a hint that something is not right, and it asks for your attention.
3. Sadness
Sadness is a fundamental emotion that helps you process loss, disappointment, or change. It seems very uncomfortable for many people, but it’s not just something to avoid or suppress — it allows you to take a pause, reflect, and understand what truly matters to you. Giving yourself space to feel sad is a part of the healing process; it also helps you grow and develop deeper emotional strength.
For many of us, Sadness might be seen as weakness, especially when we heard since childhood phrases like “don’t cry,” “cheer up,” etc. But to be sad is a natural part of being human, helping you process loss, appreciate joy, and connect with others — there’s no shame in feeling it. On the contrary, deeply suppressed and unprocessed sadness leads to mood disorders and depression.
4. Disgust
Disgust is a basic emotion that makes us feel repelled or uncomfortable by something we find unpleasant, like bad smells, tastes, or sights. It’s our way of reacting to things that seem dirty, dangerous, or harmful to our wellbeing. It helps protect us from things that might make us sick or cause harm, like rotten food or unhygienic places. Nowadays, it also protects our values and integrity. Interesting fact: We usually experience this emotion when something that we previously liked or adored, spoils or loses its qualities.
5. Surprise
The emotion of Surprise is a tricky one; it stands alone and can be linked with positive and negative emotional experiences. It interrupts your autopilot and forces you to pay attention to new and unfamiliar events. Surprise keeps us flexible and helps us adapt.
6. Enjoyment
Enjoyment is our lifesaver. This is the only so-called “positive” emotion. The only emotion that gives us pleasure and fulfillment. From an evolutionary perspective, we need enjoyment as a positive reinforcement and motivation to overcome difficulties. When we achieve a state of happiness, our brain automatically remembers it and motivates us to act that way in future similar circumstances. Enjoyment balances all other emotions and makes our lives more bearable, but it’s not given and must be consciously cultivated.
Why Modern Life Makes Emotions Harder to Manage
The world around us has been changing constantly at a speed that we have never seen before, but our brain and nervous system - not so much.
Our brain evolved to avoid predators and hunger, not constant information overload, comparisons, and constant uncertainty. Here’s why emotional overwhelm is one of the most common problems today:
Information overload
We process more information in one day than a medieval person did in years. That’s not a metaphor — that’s the result of many studies, including one conducted by the University of California, San Diego.
Our emotional system wasn’t built for an endless flow of notifications, news, social media, opinions, deadlines, and expectations. And all of this demands reaction and energy from us.
Constant low-level stressors
Although our modern life doesn’t have as many life-threatening situations as it did before, the number of low-level stressors has risen significantly. We have loads of emotionally charged encounters and activities every single day - it never truly ends. This leads to chronic emotional tension and exhaustion.
Suppression culture
Many of us grew up with phrases like: “Don’t cry,” “Don’t get angry,” “Be strong,” “Stop whining.”
But constant suppression and hiding emotions don’t make them disappear — it just stores them inside and worsens the tension.
Lack of emotional education
Nobody teaches us how emotions work, why we need them, and how they can influence us and shape our decisions. We learn math, geography, chemistry — but never how to understand ourselves and others.
Suppressing or Avoiding Makes Everything Worse
Many people were taught to hide and store emotions from an early age, especially Sadness and Anger. Surprisingly, suppression leads to the opposite result, much like inflating a balloon: the more air you add, the higher the pressure becomes, and eventually it leads to a louder explosion.
According to Sphera’s emotional analytics report from 2025, Anger consistently appears in the top-3 check-in emotions along with Fear and Sadness, regardless of age or country. That means you’re not alone in feeling these emotions constantly.
Not because people are “bad,” or can’t control themselves, but because:
- they don’t notice small irritation early;
- they ignore warning signals;
- they let others cross their boundaries;
- they don’t express needs until it’s too late.
Emotions are not your enemies; they are warnings, insights, and clues to your real values and needs. Your main goal is not to drown in them — it’s to learn to understand them and use them as an advantage.
What Emotional Regulation Actually Means (From a Psychological Perspective)
In psychology, emotional regulation doesn’t mean “not showing emotions” or “being always calm.”
It simply means being able to:
- Notice emotion at an early stage.
- Name it correctly.
- Understand what triggered it.
- Choose your response consciously, not automatically.
James Gross, Stanford psychologist, describes two types of regulation:
Reactive regulation
When you can calm yourself only after the emotion has exploded, most people are here.
Proactive regulation
You notice early signs of discomfort and address the emotion before it becomes overwhelming and leads to an outburst. It is commonly found among highly emotionally intelligent individuals, but the good news is that almost everybody can develop it! This is a skill — not a personality trait.
Name It to Make It Disappear
When people ask how emotional journaling, a diary, or an emotion tracker can help them achieve emotional balance, one of the scenes from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban always comes to mind. In this scene, students defeat a Boggart — a creature shaped like their deepest fears — by naming it, reshaping it, and making it less intimidating by laughing at it.
The same applies to healthy forms of emotional expression, such as emotion journaling — we fear the unknown or uncertain; however, when we name it and recognize it, we know how to deal with it because it’s our built-in mechanism for solving problems.
We Were Doomed From The Start…
If you look closely at the 6 Basic Emotions, you soon find that, in fact, there is only one positive emotion on this list. Only one! It’s Enjoyment. But this emotion makes all the difference. Evolutionarily, we adapted to this emotion as a reward after achieving a goal such as fleeing from a predator, catching a fish, or building a shelter.
Simply put, we suffer, then we achieve something good, and that’s where we get Enjoyment. This emotion balances alone on the scales opposite to all others; only this emotion can bring us peace. However, it’s not given to us; we ourselves should achieve it and train our minds to find happiness even in little things to make the score even.
Because enjoyment is the only emotion we can actively increase, you can gradually work on it.
Among the most effective techniques that cultivate happiness are:
- gratitude expression;
- finding meaning or purpose;
- deep social connection;
- practicing mindfulness;
- enhancing creativity;
- focusing on presence.
Harvard Health Publishing (2021) shows that even 8 weeks of gratitude practice can significantly improve wellbeing and emotional resilience.
Do not delegate your happiness to others; only you can make yourself happy.
5 Everyday Skills That Help to Improve Emotional Wellbeing
Everyone can help themselves achieve emotional balance by creating and following a simple daily routine:
Labeling emotions accurately
Most people think, “I’m stressed,” “I’m overthinking a lot,” or “I’m anxious,” but these are not emotions in themselves. Behind them are always fear, sadness, or anger. It’s easier to address basic emotions at a time rather than complex emotions all at once. It’s like shifting to algebra without mastering arithmetic.
Grounding the body
Feeling overwhelmed? Notice it and help yourself calm down with breathing exercises, listen to your favorite music, or go for a walk — shift your attention and occupy your body and mind with pleasant activity. When you achieve a calmer state of mind, you can return to your tasks and will have more space and strength to deal with problems.
Setting boundaries early
It’s a little bit too late when you’ve already exploded. After it has already happened, you need to address not only your emotions but also your reactions and all the consequences of your actions. So it’s more productive to set and follow your boundaries at an early stage. You will be amazed at how it can transform your life and relationships when you learn to recognize your triggers at an early stage and address them while being in a more stable state of mind.
Reshape thoughts
Don’t hesitate to challenge your thoughts. Not all of our thoughts are facts! Keep it in mind next time you think that you’re not good enough or can’t manage something.
Find enjoyment in little things
Our brain needs positive experiences to balance the negative ones. By developing positive intelligence, you help yourself overcome difficulties and become more resilient in life.
How Sphera Helps With Emotional Regulation
Most people want to achieve emotional balance and wellbeing, but don’t know where to start and how to support their journey.
Among the most popular tools nowadays are mood trackers, but unfortunataley they only offer very little value for working with emotions and processing feelings.
Sphera is different — it’s based on Paul Ekman’s Basic Emotions theory, created with the guidance of a clinical psychologist with 20+ years of practice, and designed to help people establish a simple daily emotional routine.
How Sphera supports emotional work:
- Emotion check-ins based on the 6 basic emotions.
- Guided journaling and reflection that helps reveal the trigger, hidden causes, and the pattern.
- Daily emotional balance plan.
- Breathing, grounding, and relaxation exercises.
- Gratitude and positive intelligence prompts.
- Emotional insights.
Many people use it while being in therapy or as a daily self-help companion.
👉 Download Sphera